Tuesday, September 29, 2015

All Star on the Western Front

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xxQs34UMx4)

Battle of the Somme-body once told me the world is gonna war me
I got a metal spike on my head
I was looking at Verdun just a soldier on the run
Crazy how all those guys are even more dead.

Well, the shells start coming and they don't stop coming
Head to the ground and they hit the ground running
Didn't make sense to charge our trench
Machine gun bullets are attracted to French

So much to shoot, too smoky to see
So what's wrong with a bayonet to stab me?
You'll never know if you don't go
If that shell’s gonna dud or blow

Hey, now, that’s the call now, get your mask on, it’s gas
Hey, now, you're a Prussian, don’t go blind now, go fast
It’s just chlorine and bleach
Only once more into the breach

It's a wet place and they say it gets muddy
You're healthy now but wait 'til it gets funny
But trench foot might just get you
Judging by the hole in your beat-up shoe

More people die from disease
Relaxing in a trench, how ‘bout ease
My lung's on fire. How about yours?
My hygiene’s really lacking and my health is poor.

Hey, now, that’s the call now, get your mask on, it’s gas
Hey, now, you're a Prussian, don’t go blind now, go fast
It’s just chlorine and bleach
Only once more into the breach

Hey, now, that’s the call now, get your mask on, it’s gas
Hey, now, you're a Prussian, don’t go blind now, go fast
It’s just chlorine and bleach
Only once more into the breach

Somebody once asked could I shoot a can of gas
We need to get go and get in charge of that trench
I said yep, sounds like fun
Maybe this time we’ll take Verdun
And we could all kill a lot of French

Well, the shells start coming and they don't stop coming
Knife on the gun and we hit the ground running
Didn't make sense to charge their trench
Machine gun bullets coming from the French

So much to shoot, too smoky to see
So what's wrong with a bayonet to stab me?
You'll never know if you don't go
If that shell’s gonna dud or blow

Hey, now, that’s the call now, get your mask on, it’s gas
Hey, now, you're a Prussian, don’t go blind now, go fast
It’s just chlorine and bleach
Comrade, only once more into the breach

It’s just chlorine and bleach

Only once more into the breach

Thursday, September 3, 2015

B1G Things Poppin'

               The college football season is finally upon us. Much like Hank Williams Jr., I am both ready for some football and also jobless, so I decided to write something about the CFB season opening.
               The Big Ten is the oldest existing collegiate association, with six of the original seven teams still in the conference. They’re highly regarded as premier research institutions, with high enrollment and high financial endowments, lots of living alumni, and a very large TV market. Their athletics, while sometimes disparaged, routinely rank high enough to earn them a spot as a power conference in nearly every sport. All in all, the Big Ten, for all its low-scoring foibles, is a force to be reckoned with and respected as we approach another college football season.

               But forget all that. Let’s make their mascots fight.