Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Spring Break Day 4: See Ya, Seattle

            Hey, guys, it’s my last night in Seattle before headed to Portland. How did I spend the day? Doin’ nothing. It was everything I, and Peter from Office Space, thought it could be. For the morning I went for that run up the hill. Somehow, I recovered from that heart attack and continued to the market and back. It was only around 45 minutes, but occasionally during the run I would break out in a huge smile. I was in Seattle. I was running. I was running in Seattle like it was nobody’s business. The most downtown area of my new favorite city during business hours, and here I am sweating and giggling like a mad man.
            After the run, Pat was out doing his business, so I was home alone. Instead, I tried my hand at Thai food. Guys. Delicious. Then it was to a café for an hour to write a bit, and further back to the fountain from yesterday, on full blast. I laid on my back in the strangely sunny Seattle weather for half an hour. This is my vacation. I couldn’t be happier about it.

            Later, Pat and I went to a museum. Look, guys. Sometimes I like modern art. I don’t have to explain myself to you. The bold, solid colors and the use of negative space can be provocative. But all in all, $20 is a little steep for pictures. There was one sculpture that made the whole trip worth it though.
Sure, it was in the kid's room, but it really spoke to me.
            I’m going to be honest, today was kind of a non-day. That was best part about it. Instead, I’m going to discuss a little film called Olympus Has Fallen. You may recognize it as the movie that stars a Scottish man as a self-described “Bad Ass CIA Agent” in charge of protection the President, even though that security detail is the Secret Service, which is watched over by the Treasury Department.
            You might also recognize it as the movie that replays an audio clip of the main character saying “Olympus has fallen.” Seriously. IN THE TRAILER, they reuse an audio clip. They have a second trailer that has one audioclip, but not the repeated use, so they had a usable trailer without a stupid repeated phrase THAT’S ALSO THE TITLE and decided they’d only play it half the time. Let’s review. This real, actual, big-budget movie, has two trailers that play. Both of them feature the main character saying the movie’s title, but one of those trailers plays the exact same audio clip of the title of the movie spoken as dialogue.

            Now, this movie hasn’t come out yet, but I have several predictions.

            1. Gerard Butler was a loose cannon, and now he’s the only man who can save the planet.
            2. Morgan Freeman will, in a second-act twist, be the man behind the whole criminal endeavor.
            3. These lines will be spoken: “You listen me-” “No, YOU LISTEN TO ME.”
            4. Gerard Butler will say something incredibly disrespectful to a superior, then disgustedly add “…Sir” to the end of it.
            5. The President will punch or somehow harm a terrorist and say “Damn, that feels good” or “I was looking forward to that.”
            6. Gerard Butler will get back with his blonde ex-girlfriend and be reinstated to some government position.
            7. This movie was written in a day and will make $Texas at the box office.

            All in all, it’s going to be better than Scary Movie Five. Why they didn’t call it 5cary Movie, I’ll never understand.
            OH YEAH ONE MORE THING ABOUT THAT STUPID WHITE HOUSE MOVIE. The White House is literally just a symbol. It’s not like there’s a room in the bottom that holds the bearer’s bond style lease to America, and whoever holds it is technically President. Yeah, yeah, we don’t want the President to be kidnapped, but I’m pretty sure we’d have better than a disgraced CIA agent with nothing left to lose but custody rights to his blonde child.
            We’re going to Portland in the morning. I hear the dream of the 90’s is alive there. Yay repacking and having to figure out how I’ll know which pairs of underwear are dirty!

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