Monday, November 28, 2011

First Year Grab-Bag

     Well, here we are. We've come a long way in our year here. Okay, so it's not actually a year until Dec. 4th, but my roommate is using the TV so I can't play Skyrim, and I don't know if I'll be bored enough to write this then. So here we are, like I said. 9.3k views later. That's roughly 25 and a half people per day that stub their toe onto this website just searching for UV Blue pictures or MEGAN FOX TOPLESS (here's to hoping that's another 300 views). The highest viewed post, FYI, is this one about high school movies I put almost absolutely no thought into. Sorry about that bad impression.

This blog's view count is... Well, if you get it,
you've already gotten the joke.
     So I thought to myself, "How should I celebrate this milestone that nobody, especially my attention span, thought I was going to be able to reach?" Perhaps a heartfelt bout of thanks for the quasi-legitimate semi-read outlet for my inane writings? No, of course not. Instead, several things that, smashed together, make up an entry of satisfactory length. That's the way Jesus would do it.

Life's Great Questions
     Yes, I know I already posted something similar to this, but this is more of a philosophical exercise instead of the life-skills my questions previously instilled. So, I'm welcome to debate, whether over text, email, screaming my name three times to a mirror so that I appear, heartfelt love letters, a rock to my window (please, no more bricks), or in the comments section down beneath this entry. Also, I'm not answering these for you. It's up to each man and woman to come up with their own answers.

1. When shuffling past someone in a row of chairs, are you supposed to show your butt or your crotch?
2. If someone holds both of the doors in a two door entryway open, do you say thanks both times, or just the first? Or, perhaps, just the second?
3. How many times does your roommate have to moan before it's okay to wake him up?
4. Just when should I stop? How will I know if I've got enough?
5. What language do deaf people think in? What do blind people dream about?
6. Magnets, how do they work?
7. Why do the smartest people say the dumbest things, like "That's the way Jesus would do it"?
8. If society wanted to, we could make sweat pants formal attire. What I'm asking is, why don't we do that right now, right away?
9. Why aren't you following me on Twitter?
10. Isn't the most dangerous thing about questing for the meaning of life what happens when we find it? Ooh that one's serious! Look out!
11. Which Journey song is better: Don't Stop Believin'? or Separate Ways?

Funnily enough, I wrote those questions during Philosophy instead of actually responding to the real questions as often as I could have. I also wrote these two stories.