Thursday, April 28, 2011

Guest Post: That Girl at The Party

In celebration of my thousandth page view I tried to get some people to write an entry to talk about anything they'd like to. So, here it goes!

     Guys. You guys. I’m so drunk. Hee hee. I don’t usually get like this! It’s only for celebrations. What are we celebrating? Oh, it’s that girl’s birthday over there. No, I don’t know who she is. Hold on.

     BIRTHDAY SHOTS!

     Okay, I’m back. Ew, that UV Raspberry just burns on the way down. Ew ew ew ew! Maybe if I shake my hands by my face it’ll get better?! No, it didn’t work. Of course it didn’t! Why would I think it would? I’m drunk. I’m so drunk, you guys.
SPR- Sorority Pantie Remover
     Look at that guy. He’s soooo hot. No, not that guy, the one with the spiked hair. Soooo hot. I’m going to talk to him. Should I? Oh my god I’m so drunk! Should I go talk to him? What would I say? I’m too drunk to think of something to say! Maybe I’ll just stare at him till he looks over. Then I can get him to come over here. Make him say something. Okay, staring NOW.

     He’s not looking. I got to keep trying. Wait, how long has it been since we started talking?

     BIRTHDAY SHOTS! hehehe I’M SO DRUNK!

     Did he look when I yelled? He didn’t? Should I yell again? Why isn’t he looking? Do you think he’s gay? Maybe I’ll talk to that guy over there. Oh, he’s my ex? Hee hee I’m so drunk I didn’t even notice. I should talk to him. No, no, I’m going to. I don’t care what you say, I’ve got things to talk to him about. I don’t care if he’s already talking to a girl. She’s not as cute as me. She deserves to know that.

     I totally just cut her off midsentence. Do you think he’s mad at me now? Screw him. I don’t care what he thinks. Do you think he’s mad? He’s mad isn’t he? But I don’t even care. I wish he wasn’t mad at me. I’m going to go apologize.

      Now he’s even madder at me. What a douche!

     BIRTHDAY SHOOOOOOTS!

     We should leave, this party is lame. Let’s leave. We’ll take my car. No, I can totally drive. I’m totally fine. I'm sober. For reals. No, you can’t take my keys! No, stop it. RAPE! RAPE!

     Did spikey hair look when I was yelling? No? He’s totally gay. There’s nobody here to talk to. Well, I mean, I was talking to that guy for half an hour, but he started trying to keep me from drinking, and that’s totally lame. I think he was trying to take me home with him. It’s like he didn’t even know I have a boyfriend that goes to State. No, I didn’t tell him. Why would I even mention it?

     SHIRTHDAY BOTS!

     Oh god this tastes so good. I just never want to stop drinking it. Where my bitches at?! I LOVE YOU GIRLS LET’S NEVER NOT BE FRIENDS! HEEHEEHEE!

    God, those girls are such sluts. Did you know Jess gave a guy head in the bathroom of the library? True story. Don’t tell anyone I told you though.

    PICTURE TIME!

    Ew, I look so gross in that… Aren’t you going to tell me I look great now? Cause I spent thirty minutes making sure my boobs were 75% out of my dress before I came. It’s so later people can tell me how big they are when they look at this picture I’m about to take.

    Excuse me, guy who sits next to me in Dec Tec but I don't know, can you take a picture of us, please? Hold on, let me get my hand on my hip and head tilted in… Yeah, like that. Okay, go. BITCHES! Hee hee. When I yelled bitches did my ex look? No? Whatever, I don’t even care what he thinks. Thanks for taking that picture!

    God, that guy was SO WEIRD. He tries to talk to me before class. AS IF.

     BOTSDAY SHIRTS!

    Sho I wash thinking that maybe you could wait here while I we-*burp*-went to the bathroom. Okay? Don’t move. Promish? Pinky Promish! Okay byeeeeeee!

    Hey, thanksh for talking to me all night and shpending your time dealing wiff all my meshed up shtuff. But I finally got shpikey hair’sh attenshun, and he’sh taking me back to his apartment. Okay, I’m gonna go now. But not before hugging every shingle pershun in this party.

    My ex didn’t hug me! *Crying* Why didn’t he hug me? Sean, that’s the guy I’m going wiff, just Sean, I don’t know his lasht name, saysh not to care. I don’t! I don’t care.

     Don’t-*hic*-don't tell my boyfriend. You’re the bes-

    *Passes out*

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